She drives her car and looks herself several times in the mirror. Before she gets out of her car she fixes her hair and puts her perfume on 3rd time. I wonder if she knows that her heart is not at rest. There is a part of her that is missing. Her feminist heart is finding it hard to believe that she is perfect even if she is not wearing any makeup.

I talk about lies and insecurities of life literally in every single blog. I believe they play a major role to define us. for instance a few years ago I was traveling on a train from Gold coast to Brisbane. this beautiful girl was sitting next to me. she was so pretty. she had everything in her that makes her a woman any man can desire for. she was constantly trying to fix her shirt. she was wearing an oversize shirt. all of sudden I have noticed engraved words “FAT” written on her leg. it broke my heart. why would she cut herself to write those words? why would she allow other people to define her?.

Over the next few years I struggled to deal with similar insecurities myself. It took me a painful journey to find out How criticism from people around us can cut us deeply. We walk in this world with wounded hearts and yet pretending to be perfect. 24 years of my life I lived to please people. I dressed up to please the people around me. I was afraid to look straight in others’ eyes. I had so much fear that they will judge me for being ugly. 

I was a firm believer of God yet I was doubting the work of His hands.

You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you. (Sol. 4:7)

What does God call me? Altogether beautiful. So here He is telling me everything about me is perfect. Every single piece He used to create me is perfect. 

My darling! He gives us acceptance. He is telling you that you are loved for being you. I know you have been  lied about your identity but listen “o” my beautiful one ! You are so loved and accepted. 

There is no Flaw in you! You are seeing yourself from the perspective of this world. You are letting other people describe you. But let me tell you there is no flaw in you. 

So here God is challenging our perspective. He is challenging us to know how He created us.

Then you might ask me why our heart is not at rest?

Probably you never have shown kindness towards yourself. Probably you joined the gang of brutal people around you to stone yourself. Your identity got wounded. Your confidence got broken. Your beauty has been replaced with sorrow and hurt. Your sparkling eyes are filled with shame. Some of us need to be kind to ourselves. If you can’t love yourself . You will never be able to love another person. The relationship fails majority of the time because you want other people to love you yet you never love yourself.

God has given us the ability to feel and express our emotions. Don’t let your mind get controlled  by disappointments, lies, and bitterness. I received massive breakthroughs in my life Just by learning to love myself. I committed myself to remind myself every day 5 goods things about me. It has empowered me so much. Lot of the time we believe in things that have never happened to us. And we live our lives on the bases of those lies. 

Self-love and self-acceptance is a vital part to grow stronger. Your heart will rest. It will be the moment of breakthrough. You don’t have to throw the whole closet on the floor to pick one dress. Whatever you will wear will become fashion and style. You will walk with confidence like a queen. Shame and rejection will not visit you anymore. Because your identity will be restored.

Every day I get told by others that you are beautiful. Some still find flaws in me. But the difference is I am aware of my identity. I am walking in my true identity and I Know I am created by the same hands those who created butterflies and flowers. I know my creator that’s why my heart is resting. 

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. (Prov. 31:26)

I don’t believe when the enemy tells me you are a lier ! You are so bad. I put my self-love glasses on and I remind myself about the above verse that now is the time to speak in the wisdom that I am pretty, I am worthy and smart. I treat myself with greater kindness. If I won’t practice above things on me how I can show them to others. 

Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. (Ps. 34:5)

Who is defining you? I want to leave you with this verse and question. Are stoning yourself with brutal lies or are you free and walking in your true identity ? Allow God to break the taboo of not being pretty to “you are the breathtaking wonder of God”. 

God Bless you

Roop Dhanoa